FAQ's

The MARRYING ME Experience

Is sologamy or self-marriage legally binding?

No, unlike a marriage between two people, there is no legal requirement or component to sologamy. Self-marriage is a deep act of self acceptance, a symbolic ritual, made much more powerful when making promises to yourself in front of your closest family and friends.

What do I wear?

This is the beauty of MARRYING ME, you get to decide everything so that it deeply resonates with you, and reflects who you are a person. Some sologamists take a group of girlfriends and find their perfect full length wedding gown, others wear bare feet and jeans. It's your choice. Have fun.

Where can I have my ceremony?

You can have the ceremony wherever you choose. MARRYING ME recommends you find somewhere you love and makes you feel free and happy.

Do I write my own vows?

It's essential that the vows you write resonate deeply with your values and what makes you happy. Whilst we provide many resources and inspiration to help you, the vows will ultimately be written by you.

What if I meet someone I want to marry, do I have to divorce myself first?

No, you can't divorce yourself once you've married yourself! Self-marriage is symbolic only.
It's a big decision to commit to another person for the rest of our lives. And yet, many of us jump into a lifelong commitment with another person before committing to ourselves first. If you have self-love, you show up in relationships as being a strong, confident and secure person. So, one could argue that marrying yourself is a pre-requisite to marrying another person.

What about bridesmaids and groomsmen?

We think that such an important occasion can be enhanced by a group of trusted and caring friends and family. But be selective, and only choose those who you know have your back, and fully support your decision. If you have a great group of girlfriends, how much fun should it be shopping together for your perfect outfit!

But I'm not single, can I still participate?

YES! Self-marriage is about self acceptance that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. Perhaps you're in a relationship but feel along the way you've lost connection with yourself. A self-marriage is taking time to reconnect with that side of yourself in a deep and soulful way. You take what is inside your heart and make a public commitment to be gentle and kind to yourself, always remembering to honor your innermost values. As such, self-marriage is for anyone.

No! In making a commitment to yourself, there can be no cheating. That's the beauty of it. One of the vows I made to myself at my own self-marriage ceremony was to promise not to beat myself up when I do not live up to the promises I made!

Can sologamists cheat on themselves?

Is there such a thing as a male sologamist?

There are a few men around the world who have married themselves. MARRYING ME welcomes all genders, colours, faiths, cultures, colours and ages and is LGBTIQ friendly

Can I have a wedding ring?

A ring or other special piece of jewellery can serve as a powerful symbol of your commitment to your vows. Whilst not essential, we think this is an important part of the process of self marriage. If not a ring, another piece of jewellery or something else of meaning and significance to you, that serves as a reminder of your commitment to honour yourself.

What about invitations, flowers, photographer, reception and cake? Can I do the whole lot?

Absolutely, if you want to. This important occasion can be celebrated simply, or with all the bells and whistles. It's up to YOU!

Isn't sologamy contrary to traditional marriage though?

Absolutely not! The joy and wonder of connecting with another human being is something all of us desire and that will never change. Connecting with others is what makes us human. As a marriage celebrant, I've been solemnising marriages since 2010 and have witnessed first hand the joyous occasion a traditional wedding ceremony brings to all those involved. Now this happy and beautiful occasion is available to people, who either by choice or circumstance find themselves without a partner but who would like to enjoy the excitement of planning their own celebration. We live in a society that celebrates the status of coupledom, and some single people can feel like they're left out of the celebratory nature of a wedding ceremony. Self-love and self-acceptance that someone feels, in some cases having spent many years of inner work to achieve that state of being, is equally worth celebrating! A self-marriage doesn't preclude you from ever marrying anyone, nor does it preclude anyone already married.

What does a MARRYING ME Experience cost?

Every self-marriage ceremony is unique and your investment in a beautiful ceremony celebrating YOU takes in factors such as date, location and the complexity of your ceremony. For anyone living overseas a zoom wedding is also possible.

Check out my My Services page for package inclusions. Arrange a completely no-obligation meeting with me today to find out more, or send me an email requesting more information. POA

What about a honeymoon?

Many sologamists choose to take themselves on a singles holiday by themselves, in a singles group, or with friends after their ceremony. It's up to you! My honeymoon was 5 nights in Port Douglas, a tropical paradise in Far North Queensland, Australia. I had the most amazing and memorable time.

Isn't sologamy just selfishness?

Critics of self marriage sometimes draw similarities between sologamy and selfishness, or at the extreme end, narcissistic tendencies. That is the excessive interest or admiration in oneself and one's physical appearance. Whilst the comparison is perhaps understood, it's the intent of self marriage that makes it so different. Selfishness leads us to prioritise our thoughts, needs and feelings at the expense of others, whereas self-love encourages trust, self compassion and well-being. Selfishness, and the obsession with self, hinders our ability to fully love others, so they really are on opposite ends of the spectrum. The intent of self marriage is an acceptance and love for oneself with the intention of enhancing the ability to love and nurture others.

Can I marry my dog?

No, sorry. A MARRYING ME ceremony is about your commitment and promise to yourself. Any marriage between two sentient beings can only be acceptable if both understand the union. Your fur baby could be a beautiful part of the ceremony, however.

But I live interstate/overseas?

MARRYING ME is available for in-person self-marriage ceremonies, or if distance is an issue, let's zoom it!

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